I don't like this.

In case anyone read the post before I deleted it- I'm having a very bad night. It's getting worse. Minute by minute. I can't get to the doctor until Monday. I tried talking to my parents, but I don't think they realize how bad it is. If I get through the night without a total mental collapse, it will be a miracle. If it wasn't so late, I'd ask them to take me to a hospital. I'm getting scared. So many bad thoughts are going through my head right now. That feeling of complete worthlessness and the lack of the will to live. It's not going to go away this time. I don't know if I can be helped, or if I'm worth the effort.

Hell of a way to feel at Easter. The choir will have to do without me tomorrow because getting help is more important.